Happy Birthday to me…

It’s my birthday today. It was a pretty quiet, pretty common day. Last night I had dinner out with the family; today I spent more time with my family and also with a good friend who gave me a fabulous present- the kind of thing you’d never buy for yourself but that shows this person knows you and knows you well. All in all though, it was a quiet day and I had plenty of time alone to think and I was feeling introspective. Since it’s my birthday my thoughts turned to what I wanted to offer myself for my birthday and for the coming year.

  • I will love myself more and judge myself less. Self-acceptance is an uphill battle for me but it’s a struggle I’m finally winning. I can see the top and I will keep pushing my way toward it.
  • I will take more chances and stop letting fear hold me back. I tend to talk myself out of trying things I’m not sure I can accomplish. Time to let go of the fear of failure and embrace that the path to success is littered with failed attempts. I can query a magazine or journal even if they may turn me down. And if they do I can query another one.
  • I will follow my own instincts about what is best for me and my family without worrying about what other people think. I’m already getting better at this and do tend to follow my instincts most of the time; it’s the worrying about how others perceive my choices that I haven’t quite let go. But I’m getting there.
  • I will continue to nourish my body with healthy foods and exercise. Not to be thin. Not to reach someone else’s standard of beauty. But so I can feel healthy, strong and comfortable in my own skin.
  • I will accept that I will not be able to do all of these things perfectly. I will have off days where I beat myself up, let fear get the best of me, make a choice based on other’s opinions or eat something I shouldn’t. When I do I will not let it become a downward spiral, as I often do when I don’t reach my own impossible standards. Instead I will recognize that it’s okay to strive for great things even if they aren’t always perfectly achieved.

I’m not generally big on resolutions and I don’t think we need special days to tell us when to do things. But sometimes those special days are a good reminder.

 

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