I’ve missed a couple of days in this challenge. They have been a busy few days but it’s also more than that… something feels off lately, out of balance. It’s been building for a while but I didn’t want to acknowledge it before so I pushed it down, convinced myself I was fine. However, there is something about writing every day that makes it impossible to hide from yourself so it has bubbled to the surface. I didn’t realize that skipping days in the challenge was another attempt to push it down until I allowed myself to write again.
I haven’t been eating well, sleeping well, managing my time well, living well. I wake up each morning and think this is the day I’ll be better but then it’s not. I think it’s normal to get in a funk once in a while but it always worries me because of my past battles with disordered eating and depression… I always wonder if it’s the beginning of something worse. This is why I have to share it, silence gives these issues power and they are not allowed to have power in my life anymore. I’m not really complaining or upset about it, just acknowledging it in the hopes it will help me figure it out.