Letting go of caring so much about what others think is a really difficult thing. I tell myself repeatedly that their opinion doesn’t matter. I remind myself of why it doesn’t matter. I remember that the person judging me is really not so great. But I still have that feeling that I can’t shake. It settles into the pit of my stomach and won’t leave.
It’s better than it used to be. I no longer want to change myself to please these other people. Now I just feel the overwhelming urge to convince them that they’re wrong about me. I construct the perfect argument. In my mind I tell them all of my clever points and they listen quietly, convinced. I’ve learned to keep it to myself because this is never how it goes in real life.
Besides, just as I moved past needing to change myself for them I will also move past needing to convince them. Someday, it will be enough that I know they are wrong about me.