Falling Down

My 30 day challenge is not going well. The year started off strong but now, somehow I’ve spiraled. I’m eating things I shouldn’t, not listening to my body, have no desire to exercise, am struggling to journal and am just generally feeling out of sorts. Perhaps I tried to take on too much but honestly, it wasn’t going well when I was just trying to do one thing at a time either. And it has been a very long time (well over a year, close to two) since I’ve binged but two nights ago I came very close.

I’m not sure what the problem is. Life is good; there is nothing making me feel out of control or which I feel the need to escape/hide from.

And because I don’t know why I also don’t know how to fix it right now. I’m really trying to be gentle with myself and focus on solutions instead of beating myself up.

But man am I pissed to find myself back here again.

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5 responses to “Falling Down

  1. Hey, we all have ups and downs. Just get back on the horse! But maybe you should approach it in a different way. Why not think of it as you changing yourself for your whole life, not just 30 days!

    “Your future self isn’t any less likely to stop procrastinating than your present self. Stop trusting in the future. Do it now.”

    • Thanks for reading and for the encouragement. Recovery from eating disorders is an ongoing life-long process with many ups and downs. Long term recovery is hard and it means accepting some things that I may not really want to- like being able to not binge and focusing on my overall health will *always* take precedence over weight loss. It sucks but it is what it is.

  2. Pingback: (Not) My Reflection | Hopeful Insights

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