I recently shared my struggles with the 30 day challenges and I’ve decided to take a break from the health/food related challenges. Instead I’m going to do a 30 day photography challenge I found on Pinterest.
April 1 is supposed to be a photo of my reflection. I’m taking some artistic license and instead sharing a picture of something that I had to learn, through a lot of struggle, is most definitely NOT a reflection of me. I used to think who I am was intrinsically linked to the numbers on this display. If they were down, I was “good” if they were up (or even steady) I was not. I now know this isn’t evenly remotely true and even in light of my recent struggles I haven’t forgotten it.
There was a time when falling down would have meant a steep and steady spiral into self-doubt, self-recrimination and self-loathing. Not this time though. I pretty quickly recognized the behavior, knew what I needed to do to get back to a healthy place and made sure not to be secretive about the slip-up. So, even though before I said I was angry to be back in the same place again I realize now that it was NOT the same place at all. Or maybe it was a familiar place but I have a much better “tool kit” than I used to. At any rate, I’m feeling good now but also ready to focus on something else for a while.
This should be a fun 30 days!